Virus Warning: Worm - Overload - Recreational - Killer (WORK).

There is a dangerous virus being passed electronically, orally and by hand. This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely. If you should come into contact with WORK put your jacket on and take 2 good friends to the nearest pub. Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolator-Neutralizer-Extractor (WINE). The quickest acting WINE type is called Swift-Hitting-Infiltrator-Remover-All-Zones (SHIRAZ) but this is only available for those who can afford it, the next best equivalent is Cheapest-Available-System-Killer (CASK). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system. Send warning to five friends. If you do not have 5 friends you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life. This virus is DEADLY(Destroys-Every-Available-Decent-Living-Youngster). Update 05-05-05: After extensive testing it has been concluded that Best-Equivalent-Extractor-Remedy (BEER) may be substituted for WINE but may require a more generous application.

TERRORIST ATTACKS A LOCAL DOG

This was sent by Visarpi, OOPS Pallavi A man sees a woman getting chased by a dog. When the dog is about to bite the woman, the man intervenes and kicks the dog. A reporter was seeing all this. He said "That was great. I'll definitely publish this in newspaper. Tomorrow the headline will be 'LOCAL HERO SAVES LADY FROM A DOG". The man replied "Thank you, but I'm not from here. I am from US." Reporter " OK. Then the headline will be US CITIZEN SAVES WOMAN FROM A DOG". Man: Actually, I live in US but I'm not a US citizen. I'm a Pakistani national". Next day, the headline in the paper, read .... .... .... .... .... .... .... .... .... ..... .... .... .... .... .... .... .... .... .... ..... .... .... .... .... .... .... .... .... .... .... .... .... .... .... .... .... .... .... TERRORIST ATTACKS A LOCAL DOG

one thing leads to another

I have been trying to plan a website that will MAP our family tree. I have seen many sites, I mean family sites but none impressed me. I just visited http://apnifamily.com/index.html. The very first foto on site looks funny and reminds me of another Sharma I remember. His name is Deepak Sharma, was doing LLB from Punjab University Chandigarh when I last heard about him. He was a..., what shud I call him. I can just say that I have seen many Sharmas like him. One of my cousin is like him. Anyway, he is not my goal. My goal is to have some idea as how to make a tree, a family tree. Developing a tree is not a simple thing. I had studied Tree Structures in my Data Structures classes. Man I used to fear Data Structures, although I do use them very often but I cud never solve those classical problems. I am still trying to write a comprehensive class that can create a tree using a simple database. I struggled to create one and I did create but I am still not satisfied. I think every node shud have only one info that is who is its ancestor. And a simple logic can draw the tree. BUT. But in this case I need to start from a child node. Not good. I can talk endless on trees. Read this instead ->http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tree_data_structure Now, if we have wheel do we need to reinvent it??? Answer is NO!. There are n number of prducts that can generate famiy trees. Again, which is best I think its best to wait and keep planning.

ATM (Not Async. Transfer Mode its Anyt timt teller machine )

How a BOY withdraws cash from ATM 1. Park the car 2. Go to ATM Machine 3. Insert card 4. Enter PIN 5. Take money out 6. Take ATM Card out 7. Drive away How a GIRL withdraws cash from ATM 1. Park the car 2. Check makeup 3. Turn off engine 4. Check makeup 5. Go to ATM 6. Hunt for ATM card in the purse 7. Insert card 8. Hit Cancel 9. Hunt in purse for chit with PIN written on it 10. Insert card 11. Enter PIN 12. Take cash 13. Go to car 14. Check makeup 15. Start car 16. Stop car 17. Run back to ATM 18. Take ATM card 19. Back to car 20. Check makeup 21. Start car 22. Check makeup

You can do this...

I just love reading Dilbert.

Need a GF

I am a lonely guy. I need a girl frend. If u r a "femelle de beautifull" U can be my Girl Friend. Why should you be my Girl Friend?

• I support Open Source.
• I love Linux.
• I love coding.
• I can install Linux on ur box w/out destroying precious data on ur Hard drive and will trun ur machine in to dual boot machine.
• I can teach you PHP/MySQL/JavaScript.
• I can teach you CSS/XHTML1.0 and how to develop web pages w/out using tables?
• I dont wear specs
• I have a bike and U will be the first to pair with me. I mean U will be the first one who will be with me on my bike. Yes my mom, my dad, behans, bhais and bhabhis have been wid me but NO GIRL FREND EVER.
• I am totally free on Sundays, most of the time, if I am not with PC.
• I have DSL Line and we can chat if u r not willing to go out
• I have a Cell also and we can talk unlimited if U using Airtel. alternativley U can get Airtel, (use ur own money, please, it will make increase your selfesteem. )
• I can give u Gmail account.
• I hate SMOKING

Before you grab this prestigious position, please read

• You must know how to use keyboard and mouse.
• If u r using Windows I will install Linux on UR machine. Please keep a 5 GB partition free.
• You must have a DSL line. A dialup is line will also do. But If u have a cam get DSL
• If U dont have Yahoo! messenger please install it.
• If u have a Kinetic/Honda Activa/Nova/Scooty Please bring ur vehicle wen we go on a date. I will not bring mine. I belive in oil conservation.
• I believe Women shud have equal rights. so we will b sharing all the expenses.
• As I told U I support open source so I am free. I am free to explore. Please dont stop me if I am talking to your friend or room mate.
• I drink.

If you feel that U can BEAR me please get in touch.

LinuxEra.com and CLUG

Prateek have a blog. So what? I too have a blog. Prateek and me have some things in common. We both are members of LinuxEra.com. This is a forum I am trying, I shud say "we" are trying, to promote Linux in Chandigarh. I joined the group in April. I saw group was inactive. Very few ppl were actively taking part in any kind of activity. Infact there was no activity. the group was basically a Yahoo! Group. I came in contact with Navdeep. He had some webspace and a domain name. Guess what?? We launched a PHPBB forum on his domain. Asked members on Yahoo! Group to join us. Now the members are groing. (Honestly not much .) Then suddenly we have another website by our moderator on Yahoo! Group. Jugadi.com. Now I cud see my aim of a community was getting sidelined. I posted a comment on Jugadi.com regarding this. May be Arminder hav read it. What do I want??? I just want

• A localized group of experts promoting Linux
• A simple guy who uses PC for his personal use like gaming, watching movies, Playing MP3s, back office jobs b able to use Linux as he is using M$ WinBlows now.
• Lots of Linux goodies for me and everyone

Lets hope for the best. I am gonna get a new movie tonight. I had planned to hit the chandigarh Pinjore road this weekend on my Splendour with ____ Upneesh my frend. I am still looking for a GF.

Movie Reviews

I dont watch movies. OK. I admit it. I do watch movies but not all. Love stories- Never!. OK I did. I had to. some times U can't avoid those moments when she says aap bhi naa kisi kaam ke nahi ho and UR Rock Solid Heart which wont give up even if ur dual boot system refuses to boot with any kind of recovery disk gives up. I watched Main Prem ki diwani hun(). Just coz... Yaar she is not talking to me now Action- One time Fiction- hummm can be thot of but not all star war and monster movies. Did watch Jurassic park and then later I found that in all Monster movies, the monster becomes intelligent, it learns "how to open a door", "how to sniff humans ONLY" and "how to do all those things that will put the hero in a dangerous position" I do like some movies just for the story and action and effects used. Obviously my due to my geeky nature Matrix Trilogy is one of my favs. Comedy- The best time pass. I wud prefer Haseena man jayegi, and any Givinda/David/Karishma Flick over any Akki/Priynaka/Shilpa/Dharmesh Darshan Flick. No strain. No tension. Just laugh. Hollywood Flicks I like , its a long list... The one movie I like is Guide. Why? Story yaar. So to use my extra special power of writing, I mean blogging, I thot I shud write regular reviwes of the movies I watch So I am going to post reviews of Bunty and bablee Do I need to say Labels sell. Bunty and Bablee(BnB) sold due to this reaso only. I am happy that I just borrowed the CD and watched it on my PC(I normally use my PC as a theatre system). I was planning to watch this movie with bhaiyya and bhaabhi. Bhaiyya after wathcing said,"Agar bete yeh movie hum theatre me dekhne jaate to bill tere sir par daalta". BnB is USELESS. Pathetic. BORE I dont know how BIG B and AB Baby agreed to work in this movie and Rani too. No one including me watched the complete movie. I was waiting for Kajrare Kajrare and U know this song is forcefully fitted in the movie and is not as good as u think is. My verdict. Dont watch BnB Sarkar If u had ever watched GODFATHER then please forget that movie. If u know bal thackery then forget him too. Watch this movie just for performences as the story is obvius one. Only thing is that U see AB Baby is growing. He can act. And can act well. Good movie to watch. I will give 6.5 out of 10 to this movie. But RGV cud have done far more better. And one more thing. Katrina Kaif is in guest appearence. I saw her in 3-4 shots. 7-1/2 Phere Comedy. Irrfan, Yes its double "r" in Irrfan and Juhi are natural in this movie. Good movie. I just laughed thru the movie. Fun filled. I suggest U keep a copy of this movie with you. Although U cant watch this movie every day, but its refreshing movie. Except Irrfan and Juhi there is no bright star in the movie but the stars presnt in the movie had done their job very well. 7.5 out of 10 from me. Wait... make it 8.5/10.

kajrare kajrare tere kaare kaare naina

A Web developer's life is like this wen he finds some browser compatibility issue. aisi error ko dekha hum ne line no 34 par, hamne brain nikal rakh diya line no 34 par, mera chain wain sab ujda, zalim eroor ha ja re, barbad ho rahe hain geeeeeeee....... coding karne wale, Meri error na tute, browser bhi kamaal karte hain, kabi script run karte hain kabi error thro karte hain haye error to batate nahi, bas harasa hi karti hain... mera dard to kabhi rukta nahi, mera gam to chupaye bhi chupta nahi... ajaye koi coding correct karne wala barbad ho rahe hain geeeeeeee....... VERY ORIGINAL. WITTEN BY ME. PLEASE COPY IT W/OUT PERMISSION. THANX A LOT

SQL Query

DELETE sorrows FROM life UPDATE life SET failure_flag = "NO" AND success_flag = "YES" SELECT happiness, prosperity FROM life WHERE year >=2005 INSERT INTO life VALUES ("friends","dreams") GRANT smile TO all REVOKE enmity FROM all ALTER TABLE life add dreams CHAR(INFINITY)

To Prove Woman = Problem

To Prove Woman = Problem To find a woman u need money, denoted by m and time, denoted by t. hence woman = m*t now time, t, is money m i.e. t=m hence woman = m*m Money is the root of problems p. hence p = sqaure_root(money) now m*m = square_root(money) = p i.e. woman = p = problems. Easy maths.

bore ho giya

am bore hoying. Bunty is in US. Goldy in Gurdaaspur, happily married. I dont want to go to Ludhiana as I feel Ludhiana is more boring place. Atleast you can go to Lake or to any gardn in Chandigarh. if nothing entertains, login to yahoo mesenger and chat a lot. I dont know where Mah has gone. Now who is this Mah??? Mah is Mrs. Mahmonir Lasemi, a beutiful femme from Tehran, Iran. She is my... Virtual GF. I am in love with her . I wish she was in India. Atleast I cud have seen her in real. Although I do see her on Cam. She has a deadly smile. Every one agree that she is the most beautiful Girl they have seen. She is always online when am wrking or busy somewhere else. And when am all alone she is offline. She told me her hubby knows about me and likes me . Bad thing for me. She has invited me to Iran. If I was rich I wud have just flown to Iran.

Terror Expert: 7/7 Mastermind was working for British Intelligence, Group was used by Brits in Kosovo in the late 90s

Highly confusing. highly Shocking but must read. Terror Expert: 7/7 Mastermind was working for British Intelligence, Group was used by Brits in Kosovo in the late 90s My dad used to say its the US, who is harbouring Militants. We have a saying in Hindi. "Asteen me saamp paalna" means to harbour a snake in your own cuffs. when it grows up it will bite you. I think the same is happening wid US and UK. Best of Luck to US and UK citizens. Keep looking for life on Mars. Al-Qaeda can't reach Mars as of now.

Focus on Ur Goals

How to Call in Sick When You Just Need a Day Off - wikiHow

A must read article. How to Call in Sick When You Just Need a Day Off - wikiHow

A Toilet Seat Is More Safe

You must read this article. Now I know why ppl avoid going to their workplace and spend more time in toilets...I mean bathrooms The authors discovered that an office setting might be worse for your health than toilet seats. Charles Gerba, a microbiologist at the University of Arizona, found the typical office desk harbors some 400 times more disease-causing bacteria than the average toilet seat.